.sleep, my little one.

even though the smart thing would be for me to be sleeping as well [it's 1:30 am], i can't help but just stare at this little man for hours on end. he is my world.

sleep well, little one. momma loves you so very much.

.holiday wish list: the jack edition.

[SHOP: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10]

This year for christmas, even though Jack is only going to be 2 months old, he sure knows what he wants ;)

And while his father thinks we shouldn't get him anything, I strongly disagree. I mean, it's his first christmas Mr. Scrooge!! So while Jack continues to be on the 'nice' list [and I continue to sneak a couple things to fill his stocking], here are some items on his wish list and that he hopes to find under the tree.

1| i have loved these little handmade moccasins forever. so i think it's about time that i ordered some for our little man. i personally love the walnut shade, but the chocolate brown suede, dark brown, sienna suede, gold and red are also on my lust list. and they will
2| mr. man needs these blocks. period. large and modern and oh so cool.
3| these blabla finger puppets are not only to die for cute, but awesome quality as well. and jack has the large version of the fox too! sadly, looks like they are sold out at the time being.....time to go on the wait list!
4| batman was always my favorite superhero. bruce was always the most mysterious and sexiest. and this sweater just rocks.
5| any of the pendleton blankets has me swooning and i just want to wrap up jack nice and tight in it. this pattern is pretty darn cool though and would go so well in jack's nursery.
6| this wood pirate ship is just awesome. a little more on the pricey side, but will last the test of time.
7| books are my favorite thing to give a child but when it features andy warhol, it just takes it to that next level of favorite.
8| manny and simon toys are some of the most durable ones that i've bought jack [he has the train set] and this manly loader truck is super cool. actually any of the manly trucks are pretty cool.
9| again with the blabla dolls. i just can't get enough of them. this wolf is the next on jack's list and i think it'll quickly become his favorite. he needs the mini one i'm thinking.
10| baby moccasins! do you even need an explanation?!? these are ridiculously adorable.

.a baby shower, round two.

A couple weeks ago, my absolutely lovely friends [fiona + morgan] threw me and the little mr. a baby shower, which was absolutely a blast. I was blown away by the thoughtfulness and creative decor that the girls put together. It was more than I could have imagined, and I can't thank them enough for such a great time. It was simply lovely and a highly recommended way to spend a snowy Sunday. 

Mr. Jack got more love than he knew what to do with and was spoiled beyond words. This wee man is quickly becoming the most stylish person in our house. And is already the coolest by far, all at 5 weeks old.

A few wonderful details that made my heart swell, were the peter rabbit pinwheels [so cute to include daddy's name!], the blueberry tea bar [a personal favorite drink of mine!], the pregnancy progression garland of jack and myself, the onesie station, and the polaroids of each guest holding my little guy. 

HEART. SWELLING.

So thank you ladies, for reinforcing what sweet friends I have. You guys are the greatest. xo.

.our maternity shoot: project life photography.

While we are waiting to receive our maternity photos from our photographer [the incredible Meg with ELS Photography] we did receive a few pictures from our second shooter that I thought I'd share, as I simply love them so much.

Erin with Project Life Photography shot all these lovely images and most definitely did not disappoint us one little bit. What a treat! I looked back on these and find fresh tears on my face as I remembered carrying my little bundle of joy, our wee Mr. Jack, and how wonderful I felt as a soon-to-be new momma. I truly felt like I could take on the world and just wanted to ooze my happiness on everyone. If I was completely honest, I would admit that I felt simply radiant. 

So thank you Erin, for capturing how I felt those precious weeks leading up to meeting my little man. We will cherish these forever.

**I highly recommend checking out Erin's site....as I'm pretty sure she has a few bookings left before christmas! Hello family christmas cards or christmas gifts for the grandparents ;)

And stay tuned for our pictures coming soon from the exceptional Meg. I'm sure they will ooze with awesomeness!!!!!

.first week survival items: for baby.

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

one] mamaroo: a gift from grandpa wayne [my dad] and a freaking lifesaver! seriously, this magical ride has allowed me to shower, do laundry, blog, read, watch a movie, take a bath, brush my teeth, etc. etc. it has basically has given me a life to do some normal things without having to tote around the little man. he stays nestled nice and tight and if he's fussing at all, i just turn on the 'car ride' motion and for the most part he's in heaven. he has also moved from co-sleeping [although, after daddy leaves in the morning, jack's goes right into bed with me for a morning cuddle and sleep] to snoozing in this at night. he seems to prefer the tightness of this better than our bassinet. best.gift.ever.

two] baby socks / mitts: while, i didn't think that would need these, i was very wrong. babies have the sharpest little nails and just love to have their hands in their faces at all times. poor little man really tried to do a number on himself! and while we went with tiny itty-bitty socks to cover jack's hands, these adorable mittens are just too cute. 

three] extra wipes: so completely necessary! and having a bunch of extra's around has saved me numerous trips to the store. i like to use the sensitive ones as they are basically water and cloth, without all the washing.

four] pacifiers: most nurses will tell you to not give your newborn a pacifier until you are well established in the breastfeeding department. and while i completely agree with them on that one and tried to keep a 'soother' out of jack's mouth for the recommended 1 month, it just didn't happen. the little man needed something immediately to calm him and after eating his fill of milk [we did pretty well right off the bat in the breastfeeding department], my poor sore nipples just couldn't take the extra 'play time' jack wanted. so after we figured out that he was just using me as a soother anyways, we introduced a nuk style pacifier and it saved our sanity and my boobies!

five] newborn / premie onesies: i was totally surprised when my 7.4 lbs baby didn't seem to fit anything we had for him. so i totally recommend picking up a couple newborn/premie onesies for those first couple weeks. and for summer, go with short sleeves; winter, stick with the long.

six] nursing pillow: at first i wasn't sure how much use i would get out of this, but after purchasing it on sale at a 50% discount at toys r us, i went for it and boy was i happy that i did! most used item by far for breastfeeding. i carry it with me from room-to-room.
seven] extra diapers: we've gone with cloth diapering at home [at least we're trying] and disposables for our and about. however, most of my cloth diapers are too large for the wee boy, so having a ton of extra diapers around has been a saving grace. especially considering this child poops 100 times a day!

eight] swaddling blankets: i've mentioned these [and my love for them] about a million times, but they really are just so awesome: the aden & anais swaddling blankets. as any new momma will tell you, most new babies like the feel of being cozy and warm [i mean they where basically in a tight heat machine for 10 months!]. so after discovering the benefits of a tight swaddle, little jack slept longer at night and i felt assured that he was cozy and warm. a win win. they can also double as a breastfeeding cover, stroller blanket, burp cloth, spit rag, etc. etc! i personally prefer the bamboo style of material [so incredibly soft!], but these bejeweled colors are pretty darn awesome too!

nine] baby lotion: this heavenly mom and baby balm was lathered over little jack day and night. with him being born in the middle of october and with us albertan's getting a bit of a cold hit early this year, his newborn skin was all sorts of dry. this totally helped with the little guys flakey and dry skin. the normal shea butter is pretty awesome too and totally soft enough for your little babe or yourself [click here to view].

.first week survival items: for the momma.

one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten

As most of you may have read here, surviving my first couple weeks as a new mom was very eye opening. I wouldn't necessarily say rough, but definitely harder than I was expecting. So for all you soon-to-be new momma's out there, here are some items [and some tips] that I found very useful and completely necessary to survive those first couple weeks. 

For the momma.

one] nursing sleep bras: again, with the sore boobs....okay, so with the puppies being super sensitive i found that keeping them bound nice and cozy in a bra helped a little. however, who likes to sleep with a hard underwire? these cozy sleeping bras kept me nice and comfortable during the night and also provided easy access to the goods for the little man. i recommend getting at least 2 of them.
two] lanolin cream: sore nipples - enough said. this cream and a nice hot shower where just about all that was saving me from ripping my sore boobs off my body for good. 

three] breast pump: great for two things...first, for pumping a little when your boobs become engorged and sore in those first few days when baby doesn't take in that much milk. this seriously helps take a little of the pressure off [but don't pump too much because the more you pump, the more milk your boobs will produce!]. and second, by pumping a little when i could, it gave me a break from the constant around the clock 2 hour feedings, which i don't have to point out is exhausting! pumping and a bottle [just have to find a bottle that your babe will take....be patient, it took us 8 bottles before we found a winner!] allowed my husband or babysitter to feed jack and then this tired momma could have a nap. 

four] sanitary pads: not to get too graphic, but you will need a lot of these. another lovely truth after birth. be stocked.

five] make-up remover wipes: those rare days when i did actually put make-up on, their was no way that i also had time to wash my face properly. i ended up keeping these wipes beside my bed and felt much better knowing that a quick wipe kept my face clear from those pesky pimples.....especially with all my wacky changing hormones!

six] toilet paper: you will need more of this stuff than you think. trust me. i was obsessed about keeping a stocked cabinet full and after running through almost the entire stash in the first week and not feeling up to leaving the house for a shopping trip by myself, i was happy that i did stock up. and you will too. it's amazing how much you will use.

seven] peri-bottle: for those of you who don't know what this is, it's the squirt bottle the hospital will send you home with. and thank the lord that they do! totally takes the edge off of your first few bathroom breaks. at least it worked for me and allowed me not to fear peeing every time i had to go! 

eight] freezer meals: i was slightly obsessed about having a couple frozen meals ready before jack was born even though the husband said he would just cook every night for us [he really is an amazing cook!] and that we wouldn't need them. well, we were so busy those first couple weeks, that our freezer meals and the meals that our our family and friends dropped off where invaluable! it was super awesome just to be able to throw something in the oven and eat. best gift ever.

*check out care-it urban deli for excellent pre-made meals. pete and i totally taste-test approve! and i've also heard that cena [in sherwood park] is very tasty too!

nine] nursing bra pads: i know, i know! again with the boobies!! but this time it's for those pesky leaks [sadly this happens]. i found these pads soaked up any excess milk, saved me embarrassment when out, and even provided comfort and protection to my sore nipples. i actually love these so much that i basically haven't been without them, sleep or awake.

ten] husband taking the week off: probably the most important thing on here. husband, boyfriend, partner, sister, mother, friend. whoever you have around you, please take my advice and use them. having peter home with me that first week was INVALUABLE. i know i wouldn't have survived without him. he fed me, kept me hydrated, reminded me to take my med's, allowed me valuable nap-time, and even gave me a few moments for a much needed relaxing bath or shower.

And for all you momma's out there, I'm curious....what were your survival items that first week?

.at 41 weeks.

Okay, so I understand that this post is WAY past due as our little man is here, safe and sound and sleeping tightly in my arms, but in the sake of this being a way to document my journey [and a great keepsake for years to come] I feel that I need to share this. 

I wrote it and took the pictures the day before I went into labor and just got too busy to post [labor will do that to you!]. I also know that not too many woman can say that they made it to 41 weeks pregnant! A small milestone that I remember being annoyed at reaching ;)

SHOP: sweater: Jack by BB Dakota | maternity jeans: Top Shop Leigh jeans | moccasins: Minnetonka

at forty-one weeks:

::i am feeling anxious, nervous, and weirdly proud for reaching this new milestone. 41 weeks! not many women can say that!

::i am however, ready to meet this little person inside of me and see what creation peter and i made. he/she is loved beyond words already and it's about time we get to show it that.

::i am still getting a million little hiccups.

::i'm kinda feeling like a whale. i just know that this extra week has added a couple extra pounds to the ol' belly. thanks child of mine.

::i am craving chocolate milk and apple juice.

::i haven't changed out of leggings for the past week. not to worry, however, they have been washed.

::my doc mentioned that baby should apparently be around 7 to 7.5 lbs in size. this i can handle. 

::my belly button has officially 'popped' and has been like this for a few weeks. i also think it's kinda cute.

::i am upset that i may have to get induced tomorrow, but like i mentioned above, very excited to meet the little one. i only hope everything progresses smoothly from here on in.

For those of you who don't think in terms of weeks...this works out to 10 months + 1 week pregnant. Meaning I am currently 1 week overdue!

.adjusting.

Okay, Life with a little one is hard.

Much harder than I ever imagined. A few days ago was the two week mark that our little man, Jack, entered our lives and dramatically changed everything. I am no longer able to be that selfish woman I once was. This little man rules my life, and to be honest, I wouldn't have it any other way. He is my entire heart that just happens to be another little person's body.

I seriously get no sleep [we are feeding about every 2 hours]. And no more free-time [tv shows now have to be PVR'd. And movies? Ha!]. No more cuddles for pete and I [at least for a while]. No more hour long baths with candles and bubbles. No more just running to the mall for a quick shop. No more blogging when I have a inspiring moment [it now is shoved between nap times and feedings]. And no more warm dinners [well, once in a while we do get a break on this one!]. I have also adapted to one-handed everything [no joke. I am actually one-handed typing right now!], and my house is sort of a disaster. Clean laundry sits on my couch waiting to be folded when it used to be done right away, and most days I don't get dressed till 10 am.
And if I was being perfectly honest, I should also mention that I have had my fair share of doubts about how good of a mother I am. I know it's probably the lack of sleep, or even my changing hormones, but it's been hard. The adjustment hasn't been simple and I feel every part of myself stretched thin. I am trying my very best, but it's just so different to what our life was before our little man.

And although I am exhausted beyond what I thought was imaginable, I am utterly in love. Jack has changed our lives, yes, but in such wonderful ways.  When I look at that little man staring up at me with all the innocence that only a newborn child could have, I immediately think how lucky I am to be his momma. He needs me in so many ways, and although that can also be very overwhelming, it brings me so much purpose. This is what life is meant to be.

Jack is this incredible little guy, usually so chill. He cries when he wants to eat, needs a change or has gas [and boy, this wee man gets gas! I sometimes wonder how those noises can come out of a little man!]. He loves to be cuddled. He loves to be warm. He's getting better with diaper changes...in other words, he doesn't scream murder every time we change him. He is starting to stare at things with his wide inquisitive eyes, and he knows both his mommy and daddy's faces and voices. I love how his little personality is really starting to shine through. When he doesn't get his way, he gets this mad red face on him, scrunches up his hands into tight little fists and kicks out his strong long legs. And then shows us his strong vocal cords. It's pretty funny [for the time being!] and I have a feeling we will have a strong minded, independent little boy on our hands. Sort of like his poppa ;)

And speaking of his poppa, I have to give credit for the way my husband has adjusted to fatherhood. That man sure loves his son with all his heart. You can see it in his face. He lights up every time he holds Jack and when he thinks no one is watching I often catch him smiling at his sleeping son and sneaking him a bunch of kisses. He also knows how to put the little guy to sleep. He can basically pick Jack up, rock him and coo him this certain way and bam, Jacks out. Peter's been my saving grace many times in the last couple weeks and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate and love him for it. He is working full time [and even some overtime], going to school and keeping me fed and basically functioning. Without Peter I seriously wonder if I would be able to do this. Not to sound super cheesy, but He really is my rock.

So yes, while I sometimes feel like I can't do this and wonder how on earth we will ever make it through these first few months, I just need to look down at that sweet angel of a face and I am reminded that he is us. He has made our family. And he is so worth every sleep deprived minute.